Anniversaries: A Moment to Reflect (Hard Lesson Part 2)

Wrote this a couple of days ago:

Anniversaries. I hardly celebrate my own. I even just quietly remember the death of my father on the day (November 1st, 2009; 11am) by lighting a candle, kissing his picture and saying "I love you Papa". Anniversaries are things that we celebrate in public and it is not a part of my nature to outwardly talk about the passed past. Pain of loss is a personal thing to me.

Today is just another day in my doings. But the lessons of the heart that/this day are always with me.

The years for me have taken away the palpable experience of the horror and pain of that day. For the most part, it is a faint sensation. That day was so painful for everyone and painful for me to witness their pain; I remember crying constantly as I watched what was happening. As the days went on, watching as innocent lives get taken because they had no other choice but to surrender to the fate of that day. To hear about those who went down with a fight and the stories from those who survived. Hearing about the sacrifices of those who went in to do their part in rescuing, searching, seeking and cleaning up. The aftermath was excruciating. People searching for their loved ones. The vitriol from those who only wanted to blame and attack back, and the pleads of those to let calmer heads and softer hearts prevail. And then, the pain of those innocent people who took the blame in the wake of the evidence against a select group.

But I don't express it outwardly. Maybe it's because it wasn't my country, so therefore not really my experience. I remember that day. I taught a yoga class - Ashtanga. At the time, I felt it was appropriate to have the class do 108 sun salutations (suryanamaskara) for the class. 108 is a sacred number. Like the number of times you are to chant the Gayatri Mantra or the number of beads on a Mala string, the 108 sun salutes were to be a prayer for peace: the chant heard across the land that we are with you in our hearts and souls. I said a few words about something, I forget. I went around partaking in the practice as a teacher would. Assisting to deepen the students' experience.

The experience of what was happening, for me, still felt close to home (I spent weeks at a time for a number of years in the city). I had a dear friend living there at the time. He lived on Bleeker St. and was actually taking a run down by the river as it was happening, not realizing what was going on as he jogged passed people running covered in soot the other way. Himself almost getting caught in it. (A lot of people afterward talked about how surreal and unreal it felt at first.) During the days that followed he talked about his feelings of helplessness. That even bringing socks and footwear for the volunteers to the salvation army did not ease the confusion, deep pain and the need to be able to do something. Living there was a constant reminder: the smell in the air of smoke and soot, and the posters of the missing up for months and months. It was not normal. I've kept the feelings of this day deep in my heart because although I am not American, I wasn't there and I have only tenuous personal connections, my friend's experience, my connection to the city, and witnessing it all on tv made it a part of my deeper experience.

I still mark the day in my heart. I still feel a kind of alertness on this day: A vigilance to treat everyone with kindness and to maintain a softness in my heart even at times when I feel frightened and alone. I still feel the loss and pain of those who experienced it directly, and I am only too aware of how this feeling is experienced by people around the world daily. It reminds me to take the feeling of that day and turn it into compassion in the present.

I was fortunate I feel anyway, to be able to go to Ground Zero on New Year's Eve 2001, to pay my respects and to pledge to always have them in my heart and yes today I am reminded again to do so. Because, of all the lessons we learn from day to day, the one that keeps coming back to me is, to Pray for Peace in the World and in Our Own Hearts.

Thanks for letting me share.

LOVE WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT!

Peace!

Christine

The Hard Lessons You're About to Learn... (Part 1)

When did having a yoga class in a boutique or tea house or any other retail space become a good way to market a business? What does it say about that business? Is it cool? Hip? Chic? Interesting? Relevant? What does it say about us? What is this need to identify with anything that uses yoga as a catalyst for more sales? Has yoga become a label to identify ourselves with those other cool, relevant people? Has it become exclusive in the way that if you don't do yoga then we don't want you around? Has "YOGA" become so vapid in the eyes of those who do it that it's only use is to help promote, sell, or trend? Has yoga become just another item on the list of must-haves at the party of the year?

The attachment to the physical aspect of yoga (asana) without the graciousness of the spiritual aspect has led those who choose to believe it, marginalize yoga to the place of workout, the fountain of youth, and just another thing to help you relax at the spa. All fine benefits of yoga, yes, but not the raison-d'etre. Bringing yoga to our ego-ic level and understanding lessens its impact on our organism: our being. Projecting onto yoga all the same stuff of ego-identity that drive some to have face lifts, be the first to do: to have something, to brag, undermines yoga's essential and primary benefit: union with the Beloved. the Divine Heart, God, the energy of the cosmos. However you like to "name" it, it is all that and more. (As Ramana Maharshi says, to even name it, you have lost your connection to it.) All the stuff that yoga asks you to shed (boosting, grasping, attaching, hating) is actually amplified by the need to make it a part of who you think you are...all the adjectives: good, nice, chill, spiritual, cool, hip, relevant, interesting.

With the words, "I-do-yoga" come many reactions. There's a definite stigma: bad or good. Some of us let other's reactions dictate what we do. It used to be that I never talked openly about my practice or my teaching in front of my family because of all the jokes about it.

Yoga is NOT any of it.

Haha - but that publicly traded yoga wear corp (I even dislike mentioning the name because I don't want to market them) have helped shape the way in which yoga is seen, how we interact with it. Yoga, for a lot of people, has become just another commodity to exploit like anything that trends in social media: flavor of the moment. Look what they've started. And by a guy (the owner) who says he doesn't  do yoga. What a great little marketer. He's helped shape a generation of displayers: Look at what I can do; at what I've got; at who I know...or I've seen (rather).

Is this really the way you want to experience yoga?

Yoga asks you to be the antithesis of a good little marketer. To do without thought of reward. To give without thought of recompense. The lesson is to learn to shake this illusion (maya) of the material world and what you need from it...happiness, love, connection, comfort, prestige. It's all there, you've already got it all. But if yoga is used and not practiced then it can never bring you into the light of day and help shed the doubt that looms over us like a darkening cloud.

The emptiness is always there whether the material world seems to give you everything...you have become a slave to that idea...ask anyone who is encountering their own mortality!

It's a hard lesson to learn. But I will gladly teach anyone willing to go there! Are you? Willing I mean...